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I really should know better than to trust sales people, I keep getting messed around, but I go back for more. 🙁 This was a conversation I had with one of the reps at The Planet tonight.

Please wait while we find an agent to assist you…

You have been connected to Brian J.

• Brian J: Hello, how may I help you?
• Customer: Hi, I was just wondering what the different backup solutions offered with the dedicated servers actually were
• Customer: you list network backup or discsync, what’s the difference?
• Brian J: Disksync is automated and much more user friendly.
• Brian J: You can set it up to automatically run as frequent as you prefer.
• Brian J: NAS is space in a seperate storage array you would have to copy and send the data to when you would like to save.
• Customer: so the network backup is nas space allocated to us, disksync uses an automated agent?
• Brian J: Correct
• Customer: and what does disksync require on the server, a username/password setup on ftp or ssh?
• Brian J: Neither its a GUI agent installed on the user console
• Customer: I’m a little lost
• Brian J: Using a simple GUI interface, you can manage all aspects of your backup and recovery including data retention periods, backup schedules, and data restoration.
• Customer: yes, but how does it access the server assuming I’m going to change firewall rules and services running on the server I intend to setup?
• Customer: (I’m looking at a bare bsd/centos box)
• Brian J: The firewall rules would have no effect on Discsync
• Customer: how does it access the server?
• Customer: assuming it doesn’t traverse the network (which you seem to be implying by saying the firewall rules will not effect it)
• Brian J: Through the agent console installed on the box
• Customer: never mind, found the information
• Customer: you’re incorrect by the way - firewall rules would actually cause problems if they weren’t correct
• Customer: refer to your company’s faq on http://forums.theplanet.com/index.php?showtopic=83882
• Customer: goodbye.

Your session has ended. You may now close this window.

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I want an ipod for my birthday!

Nothing else interests me that people can afford, except for some little stuff… just band together, buy me a black 30gb ipod and allow me to inscribe something interesting on the back and I’ll be happy.

The end.

Dear Sir,

If I tell you to click continue, you don’t need to confirm with me twice to make sure I’m completely sure. Please just click the damn button.

Thanks,

James.

Dear customer,

When told to call back if the drivers don’t install, don’t wait six days and then call us. When you’re told that it’ll take a few days for us to send you a modem, don’t start whining and tell me that it’s urgent and you need one straight away - you’re no more special than the many other people that have these faults every day.

James.

Dear sir,

Arguing with me over the fact that I am required to send a technician to fix your ADSL will get you nowhere. When you continue to argue and I tell you that the other option is that I could just close the case and not send a tech, don’t whinge more.

Thanks,

James

Dear Sir,

You have admitted that you don’t know anything about computers. Based on the fact that I do know a lot about computers, please trust me and attempt to answer my carefully worded and relatively easy questions. Things like “what colour is the button in the bottom left of your screen that says start on it” or “what colour is the box in your hand” can be answered by most monkeys after a small amount of training, so you should be able to do it after a couple of goes.

“I installed the Bigpond before I installed the Mcaffee so it can’t possibly be blocking it!”

“…”

“… right?”

“What comes up when you open Internet Explorer?”

“2003e, the Authentication host was unreachable.”

“… what does the blue bar across the top say?”

“Bigpond Cable Login Client ver..”

“… Is that Internet Explorer? No. It’s not. Can you open Internet Explorer for me please?”

Dear customers,

If you are 70 years old, don’t know anything about computers and are too blind to read things on the front of your modem, please get a friend to come and help you when you have issues.

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Anything that can be done to a rat can be done to a human being. And we can do most anything to rats. This is a hard thing to think about, but it’s the truth. It won’t go away because we cover our eyes. That is cyberpunk.

- Bruce Sterling

caller: “I’m not a bigpond customer, but I was looking through my outlook settings and was wondering if you did microsoft exchange server accounts?”

… where do people come up with this shit?