yaleman.org

Dear conference presenters,

When we ask for a short (six-line maximum) biography/intro for our published forum program, please send us LESS than six lines on an average page. Sending us a page and a half does not make us put it all in - and we’ll send it right back.

Thanks,

James.

I pulled this from rec.humor.funny.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men-he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women-she loved to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

We put thirty spokes together and call it a wheel;

But it is on the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the wheel depends.

We turn clay to make a vessel;

But it is on the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the vessel depends.

We pierce doors and windows to make a house;

And it is on these spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the house depends.

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2007-09/10/content_6695875.htm

Tens of thousands of rubber ducks take part in the last Great Singapore Duck Race in Singapore Sept. 9, 2007. The race with 85,000 rubber ducks, which raises funds for seven charities in Singapore, will be the last one down the Singapore River before it is turned into a reservoir as part of the Marina barrage project.(Xinhua/Reuters Photo)

Normally I’m not one for following the movements and machinations of the American political system, but this time I just had to share this video with everyone. U.S. Representative Benjamin Sinclair (R-Ohio) has a plan to reduce skull fucking levels in America by 5 to 7%. Here’s the video of his presentation of the “Ocular penetration restriction act of 2007“.

Oh, and kids… it’s not safe for work.

In one of history’s more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate…

They shit me to tears, and these are just some of the simple reasons I’ve got today…

• Things like including a couple of megabytes of unnecessary CSS/js code inline in their pages, when it could be dumped out to an easily-cacheable and elegantly-handled seperate file.
• Including the same javascript code on EVERY page.
• Huge font/span/div tags including style declarations that are obviously generated as part of a function to provide formatting for table rows that should be setup with a simple CSS class.

Urgh.

“Extreme weather, low pressure (90km wind gusts) makes flying in and out interesting.”

This from a guy that’s just flown into a tiny country town in a light plane? Love it.

Neal Stephenson, you’re an amazing man. Now, the question is - why don’t we have a device like this already? (hint, if this hasn’t already been looked at, I’ve got dibs on an implementation idea!)

The book spoke in a lovely contralto, with an accent like the very finest Vickys. The voice was like a real person - though not like anyone Nell had ever met. It rose and fell like siow surf on a warm beach, and when Nell closed her eyes, it swept her out into an ocean of feelings.__Once upon a time there was a little Princess named Nell who was imprisoned in a tall dark castle on an island in the middle of a great sea, with a little boy named Harv, who was her friend and protector. She also had four special friends named Dinosaur, Duck, Peter Rabbit, and Purple. Princess Nell and Harv could not leave the Dark Castle, but from time to time a raven would come to visit them…